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5 things you should know BEFORE dating someone in the Military

hey everybody so this is my military wife account I'm kind of just gonna

share with you all about how I met Connor here's a picture of him.

and how we started dating.

Tips on dating a military man. Tips on being married to one.

um almost everything you can think of about living or not living with a

military man or woman.

First episode that I'm kind of going to do is five things.

Five things you should know before dating a military man.

Now I kind of want to say

something I don't want it to be mean but I think I should just say it.

um if you are dating a military man just date that military man don't marry him after two

months, don't marry him after five months, or even six months. Date him like he's

not in the military. Take military out and just date him. To often I've seen

women, who I know, date military men and it just not be something they want or

even mostly men dating women and it not being what they want them getting

divorced and the divorce rates are high in the military. Sometimes it works out

if you've known each other before the military but a lot of the times if you

know them in the military and you marry them in the military it doesn't work out.

Just because how can you know someone whenever you don't know someone for that

long. You date them for two months and then they're about to go on deployment

and so you say oh no I need to marry them now you're doing it for selfish

reasons you're marrying them because they're

leaving maybe you want the money maybe you want health insurance maybe you want

I mean I don't know who knows but you're doing it for selfish reasons

anytime you marry someone it should be purely on the fact that you love them

and that you're going to wait for them because he can be gone in two months get

deployed and you should still love him whether or not you're married to him if

you loved him you would wait till you got back and

then you would marry him. I know it's hard

it's so hard to be a military person but you you chose this life so now you have

to do it you can't just say I want to marry you now because you're going to

leave that's not that's not right

Number one the first thing which I've kind of touched on is it's gonna be hard

it's going to be really really really really really really a million times

hard. You can't be with them all the time like a regular husband and wife you just

you can't or even girlfriend and boyfriend because there are times here

in college where I see someone holding hands and I'm like wow sucks to be me

because I have no one's hand to hold but I remember that I'm so in love with

Connor that a hand hold doesn't matter because one day I'm gonna see him and

it's gonna be amazing and we'll get to hold hands

you know we're gonna kiss or whatever um so you have to be ready for that life

you have to be okay with long-distance and I was never that kind of person but

the love that you have for someone kind of overwhelms that and I'm now okay with

it just because I love him so much

Number two you can't always text or talk

to them that's kind of like a obvious kind of thing but you should know that

before you're going into it because as a girlfriend you want to text your BAE all

the time like I love you good morning blah blah you know but there are times

when I don't get anything all day I get a good morning I text him good morning

and then that's it until six o'clock at night when he's like hey heading home

like okay cool guess we're not talking right now cuz you're driving which is

kind of like selfish but like I want to talk to you now cuz I've been waiting

all day um but there's some people who you know like in the army where you

can't talk to them ever because they're fighting for our country literally so

that part is one of the hardest things to grasp because you expect when you

meet them you know you either meet them in person you chat it up or you meet

them online when they are not doing you know their duties or

whatever and you cha-cha-cha-cha chat until they have to go back to work back

to reality and it's this whole shift of I can't talk to you anymore

so that's one of the hardest things about being in the military for them and

us it's not we don't get to have that constant connection or it's a one day

Skype and that's it and so that's that's one of the hardest things number three

this is kind of like the previous one and it's you feel lonely all the time

that's very hard for people who live alone or you know their their wife and

they live alone or the generation that we're living in. Because the generation

that we're living in we are all very lonely we all say that we have tons of

friends and we connected so many people and we have like 500 people on Facebook

and Twitter and even snapchat you know you have a picture of yourself you show

people you know you think you have this a great community and what do you think

about who should I call to hang out it's like no one unless you have like a group

of friends obviously um but they're not going to be there for you all the time

either and so in this generation we've become lonely we've become people who

just lay down and watch Netflix and that's okay with us because we're

feeling lonely or we just you know whatever and so the fact that we have a

person who is supposed to be with us who's supposed to cuddle with us who's

supposed to love us and not be there that's like extreme loneliness right

there but we have to work through it and as a Christian I don't feel lonely

because I have the Lord and so I've had to work through that constantly because

I'm like the Lord is with me he is who I can turn to so I don't have to be lonely

um but I also you know still watch Netflix and all the other stuff so it

helps that helps but having security and who you are is one of the biggest things

you will need if you ever date marry a military man.

Number four they

are dedicated men this is kind of a good thing because you want a man who's

dedicated especially to you he is going to be dedicated to you no matter what

sure he there have been times where you know there aren't such good situations

going on in the home because they are gone and people are gone everything but

for the most part they are dedicated and even if they do say mess up they are

dedicated to fighting back what they lost as whether it's a husband or a wife

because I am from broken home and so I believe in the fight of getting back

together because anybody can be redeemed anybody can be forgiven and so I think

that the fight is the best part about it about a military man the fight and the

dedication that they have and so if you're in a hard relationship with a

military guy or woman and there's you know stuff going on and you don't know

how to handle it I encourage you to get support from people and I encourage you

to find help because if you're just as dedicated as he could be there's going

to be you're going to live in a group like a fantastic marriage that's

relationship if you both just fight which I know for sure that he will if

you give him the opportunity.

Number five I almost of ten five they get really

stressed out really really stressed out and I know a lot of people get stressed

out we all get stressed out I get stressed out to the max but Connor gets

stressed out and it's because the military puts a lot of pressure on that

pressure like doing things right getting stuff done having our whole country on

their shoulders to fight for. If one thing goes wrong that could be America

at risk basically. It depends on what kind of job they have that measures

their stress levels but I know all of them get stressed to a certain point and

so I just encourage all the women to be encouragers of their men because

that's what they need they need encouragers to just say it's okay to be

there to listen to them women have to be listeners we can't just be talkers um to

you know do anything to help them with their stress give them a foot massage if

you live with them give them a back massage give them anything they need to

not be stressed anymore but don't let it be unhealthy don't let it be like I need

to drink to get my stress out I need to get away from my wife to not be stressed

you as a as a woman as a wife is to encourage your husband daily or your

boyfriend daily um and so they're going to be very stressed out all the time and

it's your job to not eliminate the stress, but at least kind of soothe it to

make it a little bit better and trust me that will work in your favor for the

rest of your life if you encourage them so that's basically it for this video

and if you have any questions leave me a comment if you want me to do a video a

type of video leave a comment if you like this video give it a thumbs up if

you didn't like it give it a thumbs up um but other than that

thanks for listening and love yall!