why is the midwest so cold help

you know when I first got to college I

had a conversation with the local

student where I mentioned I was from

California and they heard that I said oh

you're from California have you ever

been here during the winter and I said

oh no no I haven't and they just kind of

like stared at me in silence for a few

seconds and then just said good luck and

then moved on with the conversation like

that wasn't the most ominous thing I'd

ever heard in my life what what do you

mean good luck I I mean I could kind of

guess what they meant I didn't realize

the gravity of what they were saying

they didn't even bother like warning me

at all they weren't like oh it's gonna

be cold you should consider wearing

layers or something no no they gave up

on me they just said good luck cuz they

thought I was a lost cause you're gonna

have to die sir you are not knocking me

off that's not happening and you can die

though oh wow this might actually happen

it's like out of here well I mean I say

Californian weather at California's huge

I'm talking about like the San Francisco

Bay Area but the weather is pretty

amazing but you don't realize this

because I lived there my entire life so

how would I know this I thought

everywhere it was like this one time I

went to Texas sometimes I visited North

Carolina in the summer and I was like

why is it so hot here but I just figured

you know it can't be this hot everywhere

during summer now that'd be ridiculous

why would anyone subject themselves to

these conditions I didn't realize that

California was unusual so you know I

listened to like sir Alliser Thorne in

Game of Thrones rant about oh you don't

know cold telling us about how you'd

like been in some blizzard blizzard and

during like sub-zero temperatures and

I'm sitting here like no no I'm pretty

sure I understand what cold is one time

it dropped to 60 degrees Fahrenheit and

I had to turn on my car seat warmers I'm

pretty sure I understand a man's epic

struggle against nature before I get any

comments from people saying techno blade

actually I live in the San Francisco Bay

Area and the weather here isn't as

perfect as you say I think you might be

blinded by nostalgia I just like to say

that I am a perfectly objective source

of information how dare you question me

get banned well I'm now paying the price

for my Californian arrogance because it

is so cold here what is this I've

started okay so like this morning I

checked the weather app on my phone

before I got out of bed which is already

strange to me because like I always

thought that the weather app was like

vestigial or I thought it was like a

joke because why would anyone check the

weather it's just going to be the same

as it always is perfect but apparently

that's how

you think people got to do so I checked

the weather this morning and it said it

was 40 degrees Fahrenheit outside which

for those of you that hate freedom is

about 4 degrees Celsius and I thought to

myself oh good it got warmer that's

messed up 40 degrees warm what is know

my standards have been ruined but it did

get warmer because the other day it was

18 degrees which negative 8 Celsius

again for freedom haters I have a bone

to pick who were the idiot settlers who

thought that this was livable conditions

and thought Oh 18 degrees I should build

a city here whose idea was this you know

what even snowed the other day I knew it

was gonna snow I was told it was gonna

snow and you know I've seen snow before

I'm a man of culture but I always had to

go visit the snow ok the snow never

visited me there's snow minded its own

business oh you have speed you just wow

you just he showed interest and then it

was all fake he led me on my feelings

are devastated yeah let's just sandwich

him nope me just completely miss

repeatedly let's just team on him yeah

yeah that's just cyber bullet yeah yeah

no one likes this guy yeah get him yeah

get him beat him up yeah you deserve

visit don't violate the treaty

don't don't you Duke dolt how could you

you know when you're in an area where it

doesn't ever snow you kind of like snow

you know you see pictures of it's like

oh that must be awesome but when you

live in snow very different experience I

thought to myself you know snow season

is gonna be so great for the first

minute maybe even the second minute it's

gonna get it's gonna get pretty old by

the third minute though I hope it

doesn't snow much longer than that it

does he does unfortunately I'm just

gonna walk in he's paying so much

attention goodbye

hello neighbor this is a pretty fitting

map for today's commentary but actually

I didn't mind the snow that much it

didn't make things that much colder

mainly cuz I you know didn't ever go

near it but still it was actually kind

of hilarious to see just snow covering

everything it was pretty fantastic the

one thing I didn't like though is that

snow took away something that I'd taken

for granted my entire time here which

was the ability to walk from point A to

point B without fearing for my life

because once it snowed the floor was

slippery I'd be walking along I take a

step in my foot would go oh hey there's

no friction here it's ice and like what

it's not ice it's paper no there's like

a thin layer of ice prepare to die I

barely survived the day it's all it's

all melted now but it'll be back who

looted the mid-chest please oh you

eluded the mid-chest and you're really

not interested in fightin today are you

are you yeah we're not we're not don't

like he just does everything wait I have

that yeah let's go could you not could

you please thank you oh you actually

have stuff I'm gonna wait for strength

and he's gonna I really wish I had an

arrow huh God haven't gotten any loot

from any of my kills this game but you

know what I got 90 coins which isn't

good for anything now that I'm pretty

sure I've maxed out the shop but you

know it's still there you have no health

I'm gonna need to come over and looks

like I'm not gonna need to do that and

more breaking news there's actually an

official hypixel discord now which is

like it automatically like organizes

your rank and everything and I am

outraged because I've just realized how

ugly the YouTube ranked color is what is

this I'm looking at VIPs in that discord

and thinking oh wow I wish I had the VIP

color what is this hey hey hey hey hey

hey take not okay I can't actually get

through here can i okay you know what

you fight hey hey what are you doing I

gave you a perfectly juicy free kill and

you had to mess it up

you you really you really want it on

this you really want in on this you

don't want in on this okay okay

mind your business no but like look at

the red we get on this discord what is


are you serious not even trying what

that's agenda what not even close

that it's like procrastination red that

red is telling you oh yeah I'll be read

later if I feel like it it doesn't feel

like that red isn't even trying okay

look at every other rank every other

rank is a cooler color except maybe

helper as the helper color isn't that

good either but still why do VIPs get a

cooler color than you to Bruce what is

this this is an outrage also there's no

text channels but I guess that's fine

cuz the only reason to have text

channels in the first place is to flex

on them with your cooler name color

which I can't do because everyone on

that server is a cooler name called name

tag color than me we're just gonna we're

just gonna do this for half an hour

let's just drop the pretenses and stop

pulling out our sword ever you know what

I'm just doing this at least it'll do

damage theoretically that's a cliff look

at this guy building a house what a nerd

who would do that I think I think I'm

hitting I did it actually the idea of

having an official discord for the

server is pretty interesting you can get

a lot of usage out of that I mean I make

fun of public discourse a lot because

they're awful in almost every way but

they actually can be pretty useful for

like getting information across to a lot

of people like you're a youtuber that

has multiple channels you can notify all

the subs of videos on any of them as

opposed to YouTube work they only get

notified for the channel or subscribe to

for obvious reasons I mean I'm not going

to make one myself because I have like

two-and-a-half active moderators and I'm

not not gonna ruin their lives by

forcing them to moderate that many

people nope nope they would die no this

is the most difficult fight I've had in

my life

wait I want this strength buff

I don't think in my fight was way easier

than I expected it to be wait my

enderpearl aha huh oh oh he's going for

it he's up

no it's not what are we doing here

that's one way to end a battle no he's

the real techno blade there's only one

thing we can do now

ayyyy impersonated me is bana balandin

easy knew no the chat filter oh my god

the chat filter even works for party

chat what is this no no it may be say

let's be friends it's important to be

humble when people give you compliments

online I know okay and I'm not typing

that all right guys welcome back to our

first match together because we are

gonna have a 100% win rate because we

are the dream team

let's do this I'm not I don't want to be

near that person from drinking a potion

suspiciously oh I was not actually okay

I managed to take off that shirt after

three attempts died speed right when I

needed a helmet oh ok should not strafe

around stairs it's a bad idea I okay I'm

getting a lot of hits not a lot of kills

I would like some kills thank you die

die you know I need a stronger sword and

actual like pants I don't know if anyone

has those who's this

there we go oh oh I've seen it incoming

in the chat

where is he above is evil what is it

that guy 12 kilometers in that direction

I don't know too long here man I'm

stressing out that man oh it's this is

this guy who is no Armour and serves no

threat behind over over here I'm


oh wait pants yes don't mind if I do

thank you

what happens if I like walk over here he

just falls off the map by himself you

know the secret to do in Minecraft let's

place is to have the entire game be

filled with paid actors who just jump

off the map when you need to win that's

my secret they're all paid actors see

this guy

no human oh my god I'm you know to be

expected because he is a paid actor you

heard it here first and before I get

5,000 comments saying oh my god techno

blade 40 degrees you pathetic amateur I

was raised by polar bears in the Arctic

Ocean yeah I don't know I don't care

thing is if you live in a cold area you

probably like wear clothes that keep you

they keep you warm because you're smart

and prepared I'm not prepared I wear

shorts I'm gonna die I'm too lazy to do

a proper outro so I that was a video

don't leave a like nailed it