the

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) Movie Review

warning this movie is gross the subject

matter is disgusting the images and

concepts are graphic you may not want to

eat anything for a while and please

remember this is only a movie and do not

try any of this at home you weirdo

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body horror is nothing new

it's a sub-genre that usually involves

graphic depictions of human body

transformation but more likely

destruction movies like the fly alien

Videodrome may seem tame by comparison

to today's entries like saw and saw -

and saw three that's all four and so on

oh god this movie I saw it when it first

came out because the premise sounded so

weird so fascinating so crazy look at

this poster that looks horrifying and I

should have known this is what I look

like right after I saw it I skipped the

sequels

I even tried not to think about this one

anymore but it's always there in the

back of my mind and it seemed to have

stamped itself a place in pop culture I

couldn't get away I was expecting a

typical old-school monster movie like

the fly or maybe some Kafka s nightmare

or even something a bit more mainstream

I was wrong

I hope you're not eating this is the

human centipede first sequence

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welcome to Germany where creepy men sit

in their cars and oh thank god he's only

looking at pictures of dogs

that's like bit of foreshadowing that

just leaves me to wonder how will I

loose it

but now is better involves surgically

connected dogs and as a tracker [ __ ] in

the woods maybe we'll never know because

he doesn't let him finish he's very

quiet

I'm hunting truckers haha dick move man

to American tourists Lyndsey played by

Ashley C Williams and Jenny played by

Ashley any are trying to get to a

nightclub but get lost and then they

suffer car trouble it's okay it's a

rental they're lost their car broken

down and no cell service and the Auto

Club is a little iffy like a good

neighbor rim job is there because

tourists and movies are so sensible they

walk through the woods just keep an eye

out for Jason the Blair Witch and that

tree from the Evil Dead we came over

here I swear and they find help oh [ __ ]

this guy again meet dr. Josef Heiter

played by dieter laser that was a really

hard line to get right this man is a

walking red flag something to drink

Oh water's fine yeah just water to

roofie colada is coming up here drink

this and don't complain German water is

naturally bitter

I don't like human beings did I mention

he's a doctor

hey now roofies are expensive

I mean my grandmother's rug I guess

we'll have to do this the old-fashioned

way

Lyndsey drank all her water so she's

down

what's the rape drug

he's so upfront about it that leaves

Jenny oh [ __ ]

my rug is ruined they wake up captive

with the trucker who he kills right away

because he's not a match for the two

girls or his insurance ran out but not

to worry he's soon replaced by a

casserole

played by Akihiro kita Maura we finally

get an explanation long story short he

was a surgeon specializing in separating

Siamese twins it's nice to see villains

explain their evil plan

so clearly visual aids really do help

next time I was suggest PowerPoint now

he wants to attach people and make it

all new being I'm not sure it works like

that but I have to admire his attention

to detail do you never go ass to mouth

right now he's just describing what he's

planning using really crude drawings

it's almost childish not a single

incision has been made yet

and he's so matter-of-fact and their

reactions of pure horror makes this a

really disturbing scene and it just

seems to keep going you know whoever is

in the back gets the short end of the

stick ones and back have to eat to the

front ones [ __ ] yeah I'm gonna share

something with you whenever I get really

grossed out by this kind of stuff like

operations appendices and stuff like

that I seem to lose strength in my hands

I can't make a fist as firmly as I

usually can and it's it's been like this

ever since I was little I googled it and

apparently it happens to other people

and it's kind of like a lighter version

of fainting so instead of fainting I

lose strength in my hands I hope this

brings us closer

of course the build-up is excruciating

Lindsay tries to escape but she really

doesn't get very far ah I would love an

indoor pool

this is not a joke I just always wanted

one I bet it's heated oddly the lights

go out and the doctor runs off to deal

with it presumably to make an

over-the-phone payment to the power

company I hope they take the paypal

really that was kind of an odd

interruption

Lindsay is so close to escaping but goes

back for her BFF who's still unconscious

you're gonna regret this she really does

make a heroic effort I have to say but

you still can't outrun a dart gun well

time for the operation I really hope

it's not too graphic it's graphic when

you think about it this is going to be a

lot of work for one surgeon you seem

satisfied but exhausted but it's that

good kind of exhausted I mean that was a

lot of work it's Miller time I have to

ask how does he move them around

he's like Sid from Toy Story except with

you know people drum roll please haha

they made fun of me at school but who's

the buttmunch now this is so going on

Instagram how to care for your human

centipede be sure to create at night

your human centipede might complain at

first but your furniture will thank you

teacher centipede tricks be careful they

bite discipline is important be sure to

feed your human centipede regularly

don't worry about the rest nature will

take care of them eventually

hey we knew this was coming we knew this

was coming it was in as frickin diagrams

yes this is happening if you want to

turn away I'll understand just turn to

sound down leave the video running

I need the views how do you come back

from that oh sorry about that

Chuck hmm and the doc has the nerve to

complain that there sobbing is keeping

him awake

maybe you just need to tire him out

during the day

and be sure to give your Human Centipede

regular checkups constipated

the doc notices Jenny's getting sick

uh-oh I did not need to see that in case

I censored it was plus a lot of it

what you do is that well the cops show

up but I don't think they're gonna be

much help

looks like he's got to replacements now

this must be the most soundproof

building in the world wait here while I

drug you what nothing nothing suspicious

here just drink this I'd say he was

losing it

but that ship sailed a long time ago he

really wants to add those cops but

before he can do anything else they

leave and the human centipede is gone

quick check under the giant floor mat in

the kitchen

how the hell are they gonna do that he's

got to admire their progress my god this

man is weird show him what a human

centipede can do when backed into a

corner or just give a passionate speech

he believes this is his punishment the

type of Hell his fast actions brought

upon himself so he just takes the easy

way out how else is he gonna know no

we're not going there we're not gonna do

that

I'm so sorry well the cops came back

looks like the game is over

are you disturb you please go back to

your smokebomb off-camera the doctor

takes out one of the cops

but our hero arrives in time to save the

Oh okay that's better I just hope they

called for backup meanwhile at the

centipede Jenny isn't looking so hot she

dies leaving Lindsey all alone really

we're gonna end like this no sirens in

the distance no this is how it ends huh

yes so and that was the human centipede

so who's hungry you always hear about

the tourists in a foreign country who

knocks on the wrong door and terrible

things happen who would have seen this

coming it's like something your crazy

grandmother would scare you with you

better be quiet or I'll sew your mouth -

someone's but our main victims start off

as normal people usually slain one by

one in another horror movie but rather

than dying they're kept alive and

tortured continuously the nightmare

begins at the presentation and once the

centipede happens it never really ends

they're reduced to barely human once the

procedure is over all their

communication is through agonizing

screaming and sobbing katsuro only

speaks Japanese and he's not understood

by anyone else in the movie this lack of

communication also reinforces how the

doctor sees this as a pet your dog barks

but you don't understand him but that

doesn't stop you from talking to him and

giving him commands right buddy

the doctor is clearly insane but he's a

villain for villainies sake he wants to

reverse his life's work but why we know

almost nothing about him the cops are

useless as usual at these movies but I

think this guy could have saved the day

if the girls only gave in to his charms

is this a scary movie the idea that

someone would kidnap you and mutilate

you is pretty terrifying but this movie

isn't scary in the traditional horror

sense the chills come from the gore from

the idea it makes you queasy and they

don't shy away from the imagery if a

horror movie doesn't outright scare the

audience it should try to make the

audience feel uneasy in which it does I

can't look away from this movie and I

often regret it don't look for character

development this is torture porn pure

and simple but it doesn't claim to be

anything else so mission accomplished it

takes a bit to get to the actual

centipede

but the build-up is agonizing once you

know what's coming you're squirming in

your seat until the reveal but by then

it loses some of that tension but it's

replaced with revulsion the human

centipede is 1b it's gross it's dreary

and nightmarishly outlandish it spawned

two sequels second sequence and final

sequence so somebody's gonna ask me to

review the other ones I know it but tell

you what if this review breaks 2,000

views I'll do one of the sequels thank

you so much for watching like subscribe

and comment you know all that typical

YouTube stuff everyone says this is the

newbie I'll see you later kids toodles

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