Hey everyone, so you may remember the 10 challenges I offered to flat earthers a couple months
ago, and it’s been very amusing watching them run around like chickens with their heads
cut off, making pathetic response videos where they puff up their chests and bark at each
other for hours without actually responding to any of the challenges.
Memorizing the names of logical fallacies and shouting them at random sure seems like
a lot of fun, but it’s not a working map, or a model that shows the seasons with night
and day, or a legitimate response to anything whatsoever, so at this point I think it’s
safe to say that they’ve thrown in the towel.
Of course there is no need to follow up after such an annihilation, and I did not intend
to, but now I find myself quarantined because of the coronavirus, with no access to YouTube
studios and no way to make my regular content.
So, you lucky little flerfballs, I’m back for more.
Here’s what’s going to happen now.
Since my 10 challenges made your heads explode, and none of you have the mental capacity to
make a map or a model, even at a middle school level, I figured I would dumb it down for
you even more.
It’s very easy to think of things that single-handedly obliterate the flat earth delusion, like say,
the existence of gravity.
But you are so thoroughly science illiterate that you just shout “gravity doesn’t exist”,
and pretend that this is not a stupid thing to say.
So instead, let’s try some proofs that have nothing to do with science at all.
There is no challenge, there is no preqrequisite information, you just have to listen, acknowledge
that the logic is air tight, and then cry yourself to sleep.
Are you ready?
Here comes one now.
What is this object?
It’s the moon.
We’ve all seen the moon.
We’ve seen it many times.
Look at all of these pictures of the moon.
What do they have in common?
They all show precisely the same features.
We all see the same face of the moon.
It doesn’t change from night to night, and it doesn’t change throughout the night.
There is no denying this.
You can’t shout CGI.
You can’t cry conspiracy.
It’s the moon.
We can all see it with our own eyeballs.
It’s there, and it always looks like this.
Now let’s place the moon above a flat disk and let it float around in the little magic
circles you like to imagine.
If the earth was flat, would we all see the same face of the moon?
Here is someone standing in one spot looking at the moon.
They see this.
Here is someone standing in another spot looking at the same moon.
They see this too.
And this person.
And this person.
You get the idea.
So is this possible?
No, because that’s not how objects work.
People on the opposite sides of an object can’t see the same face of the object.
Go get two of your little buddies and have them stand on opposite sides of you.
Can they both see the front of your face at once?
A spherical moon over a flat earth is not consistent with reality.
So is it two-dimensional, with the same face on both sides?
Then anyone but these two people would see a different shape.
Is it pointing down like a spotlight?
Then it would change shape as it passes by, and only appear circular when directly overhead.
Is there any way we can make this work on a flat earth?
There is not.
So how, pray tell, do all people see the same face of the moon?
Because earth is a sphere, and the moon goes around the earth.
It is tidally locked with the earth, with one face always pointing towards the earth.
That’s why everyone sees the same face of the moon, and that’s the ONLY way that everyone
can see the same face of the moon.
And guess what?
The direction the moon is pointing even correlates with the observer’s latitude.
Isn’t that something?
Whether at the north pole, south pole, or anywhere in between, the orientation of the
face of the moon that we all see, will reveal your latitude on the spherical earth.
Pretty neat, huh?
Maybe one day you’ll save up enough allowance that you can leave your mom’s basement and
see the moon from another part of the world.
So, my precious little learners, do you now see how pathetically fragile the flat earth
Of all the hundreds of individual, isolated phenomena that debunk it to shreds like it
was made of papier mache, some of them don’t even require an ounce of scientific knowledge.
They just require that you are able to think with your brain for five full seconds.
For today’s conclusive proof, we didn’t have to talk about physics, or astronomy,
or space travel.
We didn’t have to do any math.
There were no equations for you to misunderstand, or numbers for you to lie about.
We just did a little bit of critical thinking.
So now you can see how people figured out that the earth is round thousands of years
ago, before science even existed.
Because they weren’t stupid.
They had access to basic logic, and were able to comprehend simple proofs like this one,
of which there are dozens.
Just like you, they didn’t know anything about gravity, or forces, or cosmology.
And just like you, they had no idea what the moon is, or what the sun is, or what the stars
are, and they figured it out all the same.
Because they didn’t have to know what these objects are.
They just had fully functional brains and a basic capacity for spatial reasoning.
So before you go and spew some emoji-laden nonsense in the comments section, take a moment
to reflect and admit to yourself that what we talked about here today is irrefutable.
There is no way around it.
Your usual whining about conspiracies and CGI have no place here.
There is no science for you to blatantly deny.
It’s just basic logic that even a toddler could understand.
If you can’t wrap your head around this, there truly is no hope for you.
So take a deep breath, let the facts in, and push the delusion out.
Have a nice day.