three and a half from here to the bridge
in three and a half minutes without
spilling any of those bottles that's the
bet you can't do it yeah I could do in
three minutes
oh you cocky sumbitch Tim bucks says you
can 25 says I can't
would you get 25 bucks turkey shoot okay
deal but just for the hell of it why
don't we add in the old old book to
boohoo the old phone book huh cousin I
can do this with my eyes closed
oh really open or closed don't matter to
me
[Music]
let me move on to jealous right why
start now
[Music]
that is four feet up
I think I might wanna son
hey I think I see can pick it up in the
wrong hands
stop know if you want to give up on this
seriously boat that's where does sound
like someone's boiler seatbelt on when
did you turn into such a [ __ ]
[Music]
what the hell is mr. Miller doing with
all this crap anyway maybe he's getting
the bridge ready before the rally really
doesn't go anywhere near here damn your
eye break Billy Prickett record I got to
be doing it teamed up car hey champ you
ain't done nothing yet
yeah have four in a row all right end
I'll make it five
mr. Miller mr. Miller you say pay his
mortgage that's strange
you can use a low exercise him gzo start
look tighter than daisies oh yeah I bet
you a cold beer I can beat you the
Boar's nest it's 5 miles is this little
man you go away for four years and the
crops really do come in you are prettier
than a Hazzard County sunset what can I
get you mr. Prickett well for starters
you can call me Billy hi boys Daisy will
you ask us why it's a bad time to be in
the moonshine business but I know we
established an anus look Daisy now
really The Boss Hogg's cracking down on
moonshiners
oh god I've had a nickel for every time
I heard that
holy hell Luke there he is right there
mama drinkin
you should buy them flowers and a box of
chocolates yes Peter briquette
well kaboom soon well seems just like
old times
well Allie beware that hazards David son
what can I say you made me an offer I
couldn't refuse
let's get out of this rubble loose you
talk about
oh okay now you know you know what you
think I need an expert opinion there
it's lemony little something special for
the ladies you know in order to succeed
these days you got to diversify
you know what I mean whoa Shakalaka
what do we owe this honor
we could just skip the hi how are you if
you don't mind I'm here on official
police business
Rosco you wouldn't know official police
business if it fell out your bra at
least I'm wearing one I'd be a little
more inclined to mind my P's and Q's if
I was you Miss Daisy
I'm here to issue a search warrant
search warrant what are you searching
for moonshine oh come on Rosco I know
you're a little weak upstairs but we
told you a hundred times we're not
moonshiners
what's the beat for me oh yeah of course
you are but I'm gonna take a little look
around anyway yeah Cletus check the barn
if you're looking for its left yourself
esteem you ain't gonna find it in there
hey Rosco once you do the taxpayers a
real service and go clean out old Boss
Hogg [ __ ] house well well well what the
hell is it
like that cute man taking his pick for a
walk
[Music]
[Music]
hey chip this is Dale ya huge spaceship
just landed a little green man
everywhere man they're trying to put
things up my buck help me help me oh man
I'm just kidding seriously anybody
called for a tow truck a what a tow
truck man there's one right here by the
road hey how you doing hey chip this is
Dale don't worry about that truck my bad
it was just a couple of teenagers
humping huffing I gotta see that be
right there security guard away hey chip
hey don't worry about these kids they
just los ain't humping I repeat there's
no humping going on here
[Music]
call if you see any of them be careful
there aren't in dangerous
all right deputy thank you now Jesse I
know you're dangerous but honey if
you're armed I'm dying to see where
you're hiding the gun
where's the goddamn keys where are you
going I gotta go into town see what's
going on I just gotta catch you well
we're gonna save the farm we just can't
sit around here drinking coffee and
eating Polly and blueberry muffins now
maybe I should go we can't involve you
in this any more than we already have
well I don't want you storming into town
without some kind of a plan you know if
I can get into town without being
recognized I know somebody who can tell
us everything well I might just have a
couple of ideas how you can do that I'm
Pauline I didn't mean to cast aspersions
on your muffins think you got some of
the finest muffins around Jessie I might
just have to warm some up for you
two please Oh could you just wait till I
leave
you know one you might be just riding
the wrong horse
you could have had me so you want me to
go up to the courthouse then yes Chico I
check it on Todd you gotta go you gotta
go
take care it is and it's out if we don't
get that courthouse by no there'll be no
town
well we still got time for playing beat
oh I know cuz he always good for playing
me yep Plan B Lambie
okay let's see everyone's at the
racetrack wait for Billy Prickett to win
that race yeah
just let me ain't gonna leave that
racetrack until he wins
Bobby don't win that race
it's gonna be pretty you and the general
I'd like for me
there's will be all kinds of media out
there and I'm gonna listen to every word
you gotta say as long as you be prettier
than that damn race you can tell them
all about the strip mine all the
question is over win that race where
Geno's running I say I got a pretty good
chance meeting
pretty good really good I like those
odds where me going these low hell phone
Jesse cooter Daisy you enter there's
quite a crowd Jefferson yep oh this for
a little old me all these come from
you know this race is about coming back
and saying thank you saying thank you to
lovely fans like these come here ladies
come here babies come on get started get
honey did you get me a Brock would you
know how I like it let's do it
both not to put any more pressure on you
but those are state cops back there it
ain't just Rosco and eNOS if you don't
win this race ain't got no plan for that
we're going to prison do I look worried
a little another thing is there's just
me and friggin it'd only be tough as
hell but these other boys might make
things a bit difficult well Jesse now
help you out with that hey when you get
around this next bend below for a second
what are you gonna do I ain't got that
figured out yet you just make sure you
win that race and get to the courthouse
on time you think everyone can follow me
well if you win if you don't holding
those guys will that guys that better
win well win lose or draw we're going to
prison you just make sure we go up there
heroes Oh
getting both in case you find yourself
in the middle of the race and you're
eating crickets - you need one little
more versatile in sperm a shoe
yeah you remember Lloyd Sawyer oh man I
always had a thing for that girl
what
[Music]
I'd be coming any minute
help
Cheers you didn't like it
what did you put in this lemon
lost sheep to Shepherd come in Shepherd
lost sheep to to shepherd Hey look what
is it what's your location right behind
the racetrack about a half a mile from
preachers goat pick me up in what you
ain't driving a car are you Luke
you stop that car you get out you walk
away you hear me I'll see you soon
I'm not about to get in a car you're
driving Luke Luke you've just been way
too lenient with those boys Beauregard
do quite old as it were the long list of
moving violations now mister do
violation back to you
[Music]
but so far too little effect this
emergency hearing is now in session
Roscoe where is everybody well we have
till noon Roscoe is anybody coming I'm
here
that's it Rosco
court's adjourned give me your goddamn
driver's license hey Rosco we got some
people here might like to object to this
strip mining issue well you're too late
Bo its 1202 Hogg's Standard Time and
y'all just missed a vote right hold it
right there then of course there's that
too well we tried yep came close
no I never even asked you do you win the
race Plan B hey prison you think they'll
let you be my bunkie rick shakely coming
through hey nice driving stranger how
does it feel to take down Billy Prickett
rick shakely handsomer shakily hey you
two pretty damn good win that race Rick
but I really want to talk about is strip
mining how many y'all know what that is
[Music]
Cole produces trace elements of arsenic
and Mercury this produces sulfuric acid
which is responsible for the formation
of sulfate aerosol and acid rain which
brings me to my next point I want you to
rest them two criminals right there
my pleasure are you really gonna
strip-mine Hazzard mr. Hogg who is this
governor Applewhite what is your role in
this boondoggle Oh as you know I've
always been a great friend to the
environment and I am shocked and
saddened to learn of this but I can
assure you here now that they will never
be strip mining in beautiful Hazzard
County Jim Applewhite is a friend to
Hazzard these boys are criminals
honest to god is that my suit I'd say
these boys are heroes and as governor I
hereby pardon him of any and all
offenses against the great state of
Georgia go Dawgs
that's your handing out them pardons
Eric I pardon him too
hey thank you very much vote early vote
oh yes sir thank you here's the Hazzard
County's real favorite son
oh you too superstar don't y'all get too
comfy though I got some good news and I
got some bad news bad news
y'all got to get up early in the morning
you got to fix a barn
you gotta mow the yard and you got to
replace it with Brooklyn fathers well
what's the good news
oh the good news you me and Pauline are
going up the house sit on the couch pull
up a mirror and watch a little wrestling
people don't look at me well Bobo looks
like you've a big fat winner
you got lucky boy this pissant race in
this pissant town ain't worth nothin you
know you're this town's like a big giant
toilet