Why is the 1st year of marriage so hard?

when I first got married I was so full

of dreams and hopes and aspirations I

was madly in love and sure that this was

going to be happily ever after and then

we got into her first fight and I was

pretty sure that this was it

I was heartbroken and I really thought

that this might be the end of our

marriage right there at the very

beginning and I had a lot of reasons for

that because my parents are divorced so

maybe I just didn't have the tool kit

that I needed and our families came from

very different backgrounds who were very

different types of families and also you

know I kind of dated that mean guy once

and so maybe I just have too much

baggage and maybe I'm just fundamentally

broken I don't know what I'm doing I was

all wrong about those problems the

problem that I really had was that at

that time I didn't have the information

that I have now what I didn't know then

that I know now is that all day long our

brain is suggesting thoughts to us but

those thoughts are optional so back then

when I would have the thought I think

this might be over I think that you

might not make it or he's such a jerk or

I'm kind of broken or I'm a mess I

believed it I really believed it because

I didn't know that I could just have a

thought and not become attached to it

that didn't feel authentic to me what

I've learned now is that our brain is

always suggesting thoughts and for

variety of reasons and it really doesn't

matter because at the end of the day if

we know where we're trying to go and how

we're trying to show up and the person

we're trying to be and the results we're

trying to get in our life we can choose

the thoughts that get us there I'm Kayla

Levin and some of you know me from my

podcast first year married you guys are

amazing you've been sending in questions

and scenarios and situations and your

mother-in-law and your husband and all

the things that you're dealing with you

were trying so hard to do your best

you're trying to grow you're trying to

understand yourself you're trying to

understand your husband you're working

so hard and have a healthy and happy


and the number one question I've been

getting from you is how do I take the

thought work we've teach me in the

podcast this idea that it might not be

true what I'm thinking in my mind and

maybe I can get a different result and

have a different experience in my

marriage how do I take this concept and

apply it to my life to my situation

that's what I'm going to be teaching you

here today